Joel: Are these seats taken?
Donna: No. Sit. What's your name?
Joel: Joel. Ya know I think I have met you before over in that office...
Donna: Yea I don't know. I'm asleep half the time at work.
(**ah yes a true gov't employee**)
Donna: You are Filipino.
Joel: Yes, yes I am. Your husband is Filipino right?
Donna: Filipinos die young. How old were your parents when they died?
**interject me spitting the baked chicken out of my mouth and Joel's jaw dropping**
Joel: **awkward chuckle** oh my parents look very young.
Donna: So how old were they when they died?
Joel: Well my parents aren't dead.
Donna: Oh ........ long tangent listing off all the dead people in her life and how they died.......
Donna: You know the women in my family live a long time. I bet I will live to be 100. I wouldn't mind that as long as I'm not sitting in a chair somewhere drooling all over myself...
Donna: it's b/c the filipinos eat the chicken skin. I bet you eat the chicken skin don't you Joel. It looks like you are enjoying that chicken skin.
Joel: yes it's delicious...
Donna: I bet you also eat pork fat. Filipinos like pork fat. That's why they die young. Is this your girl friend over here?
**me sitting right next to Joel... apparently unable to speak for myself... it's probably b/c I am not Filipino.**
Joel: Yes.
Lauren: Uh...no.....
Joel: Ok she's just a coworker.
Donna: Well why not. You know those Filipinos make the best husbands. They treat you real well.
**interject me now choking on my Snapple Iced Tea...and crying I'm laughing so hard.**
Donna: You know...the bald ones too.... they are the best. such virility** Ok enjoy your chicken skin. I have to go get my ice cream.
**interject Lauren and Joel speechless, staring at each other...best dinner conversation ever**
**virile |ˈvirəl|adjective(of a man) having strength, energy, and a strong sex drive. See note atmale .
The characters in this story are in fact real. The randomness of the conversation is also real. Although the conversation may not be exact word for word it is b/c I was laughing and crying so hard I could not focus.
This woman knows her stuff ... bald, chicken skin eating filipino men = VIRILITY. hint hint
ReplyDeleteChicken skin and pork fat....no, not joel, but him saying DELICIOUS! Yes, that was 'the joel'. Nice blog ;)
ReplyDeleteOmg.. This is insane and funny! Joel and Lauren be safe and have fun... One of the EFM ( asian origin) at my last post asked me to get merried and have kids so my kids can pay for her SSN. LOL
ReplyDelete~ Sejal
This woman sounds awesome. I love people who can just blindside you with their non-political correctness and then dash off before you've had a chance to gather your thoughts. Little too much info on the phillipino men being virile though, considering my sweet little baby nephew is phillipino and in my mind will never grow up.
ReplyDelete